Calm Hysteria: July 2005

I hate waiting. Waiting is quite possibly the worst thing in existence. The other day, I was waiting in line for food. Then I was waiting in line for the cash machine. On my way to work today, I was stopped almost twice as long as I was rolling. Yet with these examples, I'm only skimming the surface of the enormous bitch we call "waiting".

I've always been a "live in the now" type of person, where patience is nothing more than a concept of timidity or reactivity. "If I die tonight, what will I have missed because of waiting?" This has always seemed 100% clear to me, although I've always held the belief that I should live for the moment, take opportunities, chances and never have to worry about regret. But now I realize that there must be a happy medium. I also realize that there is a fine line between patience and complacency. We must draw that line and hold ourselves to some length of acceptable wait time.

Lack of patience has caused some of the worlds most significant fuckups. Did somebody say something about WMDs? In no way am I going to claim any political stance in this widely read blog, but just think about it...

These are some things that I, personally, have been waiting for and you may also be waiting for:

A better job / job security
Higher income / never broke
Those damn mail-in rebates
A certain person's returned phone call
a motorcycle (or new car)
Debts paid / financial independence
Jessica Alba (or non-famous version of her)
Travels to distant places (Europe, Asia, Costa Rica, Delaware [what movie?])
Et-fuqin-cetera

Yeah, I know your mind is racing now. I bet your thinking of something you're "waiting" for right now and your mood is shifting slightly to the dark side. This blog entry is probably depressing you. Well, buck the fuck up whiner! Think of all the things you'd still be waiting for if you hadn't already accomplished them. For instance, think of your current job. As shitty as it may be, it's YOUR job. It's not Carl's, it's yours and you got that shitty job on your own accord. Although it is a weak example, especially if your job sucks balls, it works. It doesn't matter whether your paying all of your bills on time (accomplishment), getting a shitty job (means to an end = accomplishment) or preparing for your mission to Mars, they are all relative.

I realize that I can't ALWAYS get what I want instantly, but I'll be damned if I can't take some baby steps while I'm "waiting", thus transforming the "wait" into a series of "accomplishments". People (myself included) spend a shit load of time focusing big goals such as "being rich" or "becoming a pilot" or attaining their conceptualized "ideal life". Think of it this way; if you're waiting to be rich, but not identifying and executing the seemingly menial elements (mini-accomps), you might as well be waiting for some rich relative to kick the bucket and leave you their fortune. If you want to be a pilot... Great! How many hours do you need? How much does it cost? If you want it bad enough, show me your schematic of reaching your goal and put your finger on the spot where you're currently at on the list. If you're going to Mars someday, well... it IS possible, but if you're not setting detailed and challenging goals and giving yourself deadlines, you'll have to enjoy watching some other bastard on CNN in 2019, hopping along in ecstasy at the base of Olympus Mons, while you chug on a Miller High Life down at Big Al's Bar and Grill.

Waiting is not necessary. Learn to notice the difference between waiting and complacency. If you want something so bad you can taste it, get it. It might take a while, but you'll get there eventually if you fill the meantime with accomplishments that take you one inch closer to what you want. Forget waiting. Lines? Fuq'em. I hate'em. As a side - one baby step to solve the "line waiting" problem would be to NOT REPRODUCE. You'd be killing two birds with one stone. One less person in line; one less ugly mug polluting the gene pool. (If you're a hot woman reading this, disregard the last sentence. Call me!)

If you are interested enough in this philosophical hobnobery to still be reading this bitch of a blog entry, the entire commentary can be summed up into one sentence from the classic movie, Field of Dreams:

If you build it, they will come...

This quote's relationship to the topic of "waiting" was conceived late one night on a deck, in a conversation with one of my fellow wait-haters, Shane. (bros dude, bros.) We were acknowledging the fact that we were spending way too much energy wanting the end results but neglecting our focus on building the foundations that are necessary to support those ultimate goals.

One Life.